It's been such a long journey

If this really does work, and in six weeks time I'm pain free, or at least a heck of a lot better, I know there will be a part of me that will regret not getting this sooner.  But then I have to remind myself that I did try to get this done, over two years ago when I met with Dr. Wagner who was a supposed "expert".  And then I get angry.  The man just looks at an MRI and figures if he doesn't see it then it can't possibly be there.  I mean, who cares that my hip still clicks even though everything is in alignment.  Who cares that you can feel the joint move around.  Who cares that another doctor diagnosed a torn labrum without an MRI.  Because it certainly wasn't Dr. Wagner. He just looked at a picture and figured he couldn't do anything to help me, and I couldn't do anything, literally (except for swimming and yoga).  If he would actually look at the whole patient, then maybe I would already be fine.  Maybe I wouldn't have to worry about fixing my hip versus getting ready for our first dance at our wedding.

But then I think about it a little more, and if Dr. Wagner had treated the labrum, I wouldn't have discovered I have tight hip capsules, which in turn led me to massage, which seems to have healed my FAI.  If I had repaired the labrum without treating the FAI, that impingement would still be there, and would possibly tear the labrum again.  There are people out there who get surgery or PRP treatments and yet still have pain.  I think that's because even though the underlying issue (joint instability) is fixed the muscles have become so patternized that they will remain tight even though they don't need to be (being tight is all they know), and it is the tight muscle that is causing the pain.

So, in fact, I just have to accept that this is what the universe has presented to me, and I take solace in the fact that I have kept searching, learning about my hip and what might be the issues at hand.  I have not resigned myself to a life of pain and/or inactivity.  In life there is always a choice, and I choose to be better today then I was yesterday.  Whether that be stronger, faster, smarter, wiser, or some combination of all the above, I try to make the most out of each day because that's a day I'll never get back.

Now if you excuse me, I need to get back to taking on the day.